Arms high and heart abandoned

That is my prayer for the semester. For my life. That I would live with arms high and heart abandoned to the Lord. It’s crazy to see the way the Lord works. How He has blessed me by the incredible people He put in my life. A lot of times it’s not even what they say. It’s that they listen. And as they ask about my life and listen and I share my heart, the Lord reveals Himself. I got to spend some sweet time with my teammate yesterday. She is such a blessing to me and brings me so much joy. As I was sharing with her, I realized how little I actually trust the Lord with my life. I say that I trust Him and I say that I will follow Him where He leads me. I will go if He calls me. I will live in the way that He has put on my heart. And I mean that, I really do. But while saying and thinking those things, I have in my head a box essentially. A box that is titled, “I will go where you lead me God, but I know you’re going to lead me somewhere in here”. Aka I trust you, as long as you stay within these boundaries. I give God suggestions about how I think my life should be like. What I think would bring Him glory and where I think He could use me for His glory. Seriously?! Who am I to give God suggestions like that? To say that I trust Him, but only if He stays betweens lines that I will set for Him? Ridiculous. I think as I’ve continued walking with the Lord, I have definitely handed over many areas of my life to Him. But not all of me. There are parts of me that I don’t even know about that I have yet to hand over to the Lord. It’s a process. I am a work in progress. “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.” My prayer is that as I realize I’m holding these things from Him, that I would freely let go. That I would stand before Him with arms high and heart abandoned.